Is Your Inner Mean Girl Keeping You From Love?

 In IMGs in Your Love Life

“You don’t deserve to be loved.”

“If this doesn’t work out, you’ll be alone forever!”

“You’re never going to find ‘him’ so you better just settle for this.”

Recognize that voice?  It’s the voice of your Inner Mean Girl (or Dude or Bully for guys.)

S/he’s negative.  S/he’s catty.  S/he’s judgmental. S/he compares your worst to everyone else’s best. In her eyes, you lose every time. Your Inner Mean Girl’s / Bully’s favorite thing to do is to make you feel small, inadequate, and unworthy. They always finding evidence to prove her theory:  you are not enough. And here’s how:

Sometimes they are straightforward – and proclaims that you just aren’t good enough for the person you are dating, marrying, or living with.

Sometimes they are sneaky – and tells you that you are too good for that person (and she whisks away a really great guy or girl!)

Sometimes they are just plain mean – and points out just how flawed you are, how old you are, and how many other people are getting married/in a happy relationship/etc. And convinces you to settle than for less than you know in your heart and soul deserve.

And when none of those evil tactics work, they rely on their tried and true weapon: filling your head with all kinds of big fat lies that make you doubt what you know to be true about yourself (that you are a kind, loving, not-perfect person who just really wants a great partner to share your life with.) And frankly, you deserve it! We all do.

The truth is that if you want to find and keep great love in your life, you have to stop letting your Inner Mean Girl or Bully (IMG for short) run your show. They are guaranteed disaster on your love life!

  • If you are single, they’ll destroy your chances at finding love.
  • If you’re in a potentially fabulous relationship, they’ll create all kinds of situations that keep you from having the fabulous partnership you want. Guaranteed, they’ll sabotage it.
  • If you’re in a toxic, self-limiting relationship, they’ll make you overstay in the wrong relationship, trying to convince you that you should just make it work.

While transforming your Inner Mean Girl / Dude takes time and skill, there a few steps you can take right away to take the power back from their self-sabotaging clutches!

3 Ways to Kick Your Inner Mean Girl / Bully Out of Your Love Life

  1. Let your Inner Mean Girl /Dude voice their biggest fears and big fat lies. Fear is the #1 food for Inner Mean Girls and Dudes. They thrive on it. But, when you take your IMG out of the closet by giving voice to the fear, your IMG relaxes, loses all power over you and you can finally find the truth. So go on an Inner Mean Girl or Dude Rant and let the fear and big fat lies fly free – “I am so not lovable. I am so afraid I’ll be alone forever or of being hurt again.” Say them all out loud til they are out of your system.
  2. Tune into your Inner Wisdom. Now that your IMG has had their say, close your eyes, and take a deep breath and ask your wise self, your Inner Wisdom, what they know about your love life. Put your hand on your heart and listen. You’ll be surprised at how calm and safe you feel – because from this place you can already see how much love you have. Say out loud what they tell you, and write it down so in moments of fear you can remember the truth.
  3. Stop Comparing Your Relationship Status to Other People. Comparison is the #1 toxic habit your IMG uses to push you into fear and crazy talk. Give up comparison right now, and next time your IMG starts comparing your relationship or lack of to others, Stop. Drop and Mantra – “My relationship status is perfect for ME!”

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